Reflective Poetry

One day a coworker sent around an email with a cartoon that showed a woman looking at her behind in a mirror (gee, none of us have ever done that!). The caption read:

Mirror, Mirror
Shiny glass
Tell me that
Is not my ass!

Always up for a little rhyming fun, I soon sent back the following:

Mirror, Mirror
Tell me lies
I need to know
Those aren't my thighs!

Mirror, mirror
Cold and hard
Please say I'm not
That tub of lard!

Mirror, mirror
You're such a brat
You must be lying
I'm not that fat!

Mirror, mirror
You can be replaced
You have five seconds
To show me my waist!